dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
