I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
