Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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