she looked like the before picture.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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