Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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