My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
