Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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