I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize