i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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