with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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