why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
