Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
