i'm signing you up for texting rehab
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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