i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
