Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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