Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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