My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i drank out of a bidet.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
