fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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