I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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