onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
