I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
