$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
