Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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