im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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