You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
