I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
