their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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