Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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