you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
