omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
