The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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