I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
