Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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