Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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