It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
