You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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