he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
