but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
