Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
