Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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