So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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