I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
