The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
