I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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