in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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