Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
