i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
