Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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