It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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