my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
