This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
