No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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