grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You need Xanax blowdarts
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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