Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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