I'm lost and stupid without you.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You were trust falling into bushes
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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