why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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