apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
