We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
