i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
