a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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