I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
