I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
