She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
