She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
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Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize