Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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