What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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